I have been to a solicitor and feel a lot more assured

Wednesday July 8, 2009 at 10:09am

I've been to see a local solicitor that deals primarily with divorce and they are based in my town.

Essentially, she (the solicitor) said to ignore the threatening tone of the letter I'd received - as it was all meant to intimidate me.  She said to get all the paperwork done in what is now a week, is just a complete joke - so she will write to them informing them of such.

Some things I learnt which I wasn't aware of, and may help other people in the same circumstances are:

1. The "divorce" part of a marriage is purely the separation of the individuals from a legal perspective.  The divorce does not include anything to do with the financial side of things, assets or children.

2. Courts are extremely unlikely to impose a change to anything the individuals decide, but if no decision is made, they will decide what they think best.  So if individuals agree on a 60-40 split of assets and children go to non-resident parent every other weekend, then courts rarely would change that arrangement.

3. The cost of a divorce can be around £450-£600 (with the solicitor I've chosen).  As there are children and some assets involved, the quickie divorce route isn't recommended as there are wider things to consider.  As I'm not the one filing for divorce, I do feel some degree of comfort knowing that X also has to pay similar costs to me, but also about £350 in court fees which I won't have to!

4. The financial side of the divorce process can be extremely costly - and really depends on how long and indepth the agreements take to be reached.  So arguing over who gets the cat for 4 weeks could cost £1000 in solicitors letters - and how much does each party love the cat!

5. As X is looking to divorce me, I could contest the divorce - ie. disagree or object to it - but it would result in more legal wranglings and is extremely unlikely to change anything.

After being extremely nervous, being bombarded with information, I hopefully managed to write enough notes but I was happier leaving the meeting.  Unfortunately I've got to start paying the solicitors costs now and have to pay £500... I've also got a huge document to complete on everything on the financial side of our marriage - from annual income from both myself and X, assets, mortgages, property etc..  X also has to do the same it seems and I guess they check to make sure they mount up.

After getting back from seeing the solicitor and walking through the door with B and G, there was a note from X saying that shes moving all her things out in 2 days time!

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