I've read, whether rightly or wrongly, that even though parents of children are equal in the eyes of the law, the divorce process usually favours the mother.
The prospect of only seeing my children at weekends physically makes me feel sick - to the point of having actually been sick. I have an appointment with a local solicitor next week to talk it all through... Oh joy!
X is still bulldozing ahead. Shes still in the spare room when shes around. Shes still carrying on with work as normal. Shes told all our friends that we are getting divorced. Shes doing and talking a lot. But not to me. Despite me asking several times why shes continuing this process, she just keep saying that she just doesn't want to be married any more.
It doesn't make sense to me, and I really and still thrown by the whole thing. There is no negotiation or talking that shes willing to do. Shes destroying lives here - and I feel so helpless.
One of the worst feelings is lying in bed at night, my mind churning things over. Its stressful, depressing and thoroughly miserable to even contemplate not being married, how B and G will be affected etc.
X said some really spiteful things last night after she got back from work (conveniently after B and G were in bed), and if she ever changes her mind, I'm not sure I could ever forgive her...